Memorial Service for Miscarriages and Stillbirths

A Service of Memorial for Babies Lost to Miscarriages and Still Births

 Before the service, set out some small candles or tea lights. There will be a time in the service when you invite those present to light candles in memory of their lost children.

You may also wish to set up a Tree of Memorial. This could be a decorated plant, or a metal frame, provide paper leaves, pens for writing and a means of attaching the leaves to the tree, either pegs or ribbon ties. The congregation can be invited to write the name of their lost child on a leaf and attach it to the tree. 

 

Jesus said 'Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these'. Matthew 19:14

 See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. Matthew 18:10

Opening Prayer

Dear Lord, we come together today to remember.

We remember the little ones we have lost.

We remember the loved ones that surround us.

We remember the future that You have promised to prepare for us.

 

We remember the children who have passed away.

We remember our joy when we first knew of them,

our delight in sharing the news with others,

our excited expectancy of tiny hands and tiny feet,

our growing and swelling with hopes and plans.

We pass all these precious things on to You, as we entrust to You the souls of our children.

 

We remember the children we thought they would be.

We remember the futures we carefully prepared for,

the purchases made,

the names chosen,

the dreams of happy childhoods.

We pass all these precious things on to You, as we entrust to You the souls of our children.

 

We remember the moments of loss.

We remember the dashing of hopes;

the pain, the sorrow, the despair.

 

Dear Lord, we come together to remember what we have lost,

and we come together to remember what we still have.

 

We remember the loved ones who have born these losses with us.

We remember those who have offered us comfort and support.

We remember the friends and family who have brought us new reasons to celebrate and new joys to share.

We remember that You are with us always.

 

We remember Your promises to us:

to be with us,

to go before us,

to prepare a way, a family and a home for us.

We remember Your love for us:

Your love that searched for us, found us and cradles us still

We remember that You are with us always.

 

Dear Lord, we come together to remember our pain and to remember Your promise of healing.

Be with us now, Lord, help us to remember what is true.

Amen.

 

Suggested Hymn

O Love that will not let me go – by George Matheson

Suggested Reading

Jeremiah 31:15-17

New International Version (NIV)

15 This is what the Lord says:

“A voice is heard in Ramah,    mourning and great weeping,Rachel weeping for her children    and refusing to be comforted,    because they are no more.”

16 This is what the Lord says:

“Restrain your voice from weeping    and your eyes from tears,for your work will be rewarded,”declares the Lord.    “They will return from the land of the enemy.17 So there is hope for your descendants,”declares the Lord.    “Your children will return to their own land.

A Time to Remember

Father God, You are the perfect parent of us all,

We entrust our lost children to Your loving care,

Knowing that You receive their souls with open arms.

Amen.

 

We will now have some time of quiet reflection to remember the lost children.

During this time you may wish to light a candle in memory of your child, you may wish to write your child's name on a leaf.

There will be time for you to complete one or both of these acts of remembrance, or to sit and remember your child in your heart.

 

Have some quiet music playing and make sure everyone has enough time to light candles or write names if they wish. Do not rush into the concluding prayer.

 

A Prayer to be said over the lit candles or the Memorial Tree.

Father God, we leave our children with You, knowing that

You love them truly, You know them completely, You hold them forever.

Amen.

Suggested Hymn

Father, I place into Your hands – by Jenny Hewer.

 

Suggested Reading

Psalm 136

1 Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good.His love endures forever.2 Give thanks to the God of gods.His love endures forever.3 Give thanks to the Lord of lords:His love endures forever.

4 to him who alone does great wonders,His love endures forever.5 who by his understanding made the heavens,His love endures forever.6 who spread out the earth upon the waters,His love endures forever.7 who made the great lights—His love endures forever.8 the sun to govern the day,His love endures forever.9 the moon and stars to govern the night;His love endures forever.

10 to him who struck down the firstborn of EgyptHis love endures forever.11 and brought Israel out from among themHis love endures forever.12 with a mighty hand and outstretched arm;His love endures forever.

13 to him who divided the Red Sea[a] asunderHis love endures forever.14 and brought Israel through the midst of it,His love endures forever.15 but swept Pharaoh and his army into the Red Sea;His love endures forever.

16 to him who led his people through the wilderness;His love endures forever.

17 to him who struck down great kings,His love endures forever.18 and killed mighty kings—His love endures forever.19 Sihon king of the AmoritesHis love endures forever.20 and Og king of Bashan—His love endures forever.21 and gave their land as an inheritance,His love endures forever.22 an inheritance to his servant Israel.His love endures forever.

23 He remembered us in our low estateHis love endures forever.24 and freed us from our enemies.His love endures forever.25 He gives food to every creature.His love endures forever.

26 Give thanks to the God of heaven.His love endures forever.

 

Address

You may wish to say some words at this point in the service. You may wish to talk about God's love for lost babies and for their bereaved parents. You may wish to talk about the perfect plan that God has to give us all fullness of life. 

 

If appropriate, you may wish to mention the pastoral support on offer from your church.

 

If appropriate, you may wish to mention your own personal experience of loss.

 

If you are holding this service for one family, you may wish to mention their individual circumstances.

Prayer

Father God, we know that Your love endures.

When we have times of joy and celebration.

When we are happy with our friends and family.

When we feel successful and useful.

Your love endures forever.

 

But You are the same God when we are struggling.

When our plans just won't work out.

When we are alone or bereaved.

When we cry and rage and scream.

Your love endures forever.

 

You will be the same God for all eternity.

When You return in glory You will wipe away every tear.

You will heal every wound.

You will lead us all in praise and rejoicing.

Your love will endure forever.

 

We do not know what tomorrow holds for us.

There may be more sorrow and grief.

There may be more delight and rejoicing.

There may be more work and hardship.

We do not know what will happen tomorrow.

But we do know that Your love endures forever.

 

Amen.

 

Suggested Hymn

Beauty for Brokeness – by Graham Kendrick

Blessing

Go out now into a world that holds joy and pain.

Go with God's love around you,

with Christ's hand in yours,

with the Holy Spirit's strength in your hearts.

Go with God, and God go with you.

Amen.